The ‘Michel-angelo’ Effect: The Art of Humanangelo-ing
Michelangelo’s Tinder Bio: Seeing Hidden Potential
If Michelangelo had a Tinder bio, it would probably say: ‘I see the potential in you that even you don’t.’
This rather alluring bio throws light on the Michelangelo effect – that close partners, friendships and relationships “sculpt” each other through affirmation and behavioural support, thereby facilitating personal growth toward the individual’s ideal self, that perhaps the individual in isolation wouldn’t have achieved.
The term was coined and first used inacademic psychology in 1999 by Caryl E. Rusbult, Eli J. Finkel, and Madoka Kumashiro in a seminal paper published in 1999 titled The Michelangelo Phenomenon, coined and first used the term in the academic psychology field. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. In this work, the scholars were inspired by the fact that Michelangelo imagined a statue in a block of marble and chiselled to bring out the perfect shape inside.
Beyond Romance: Sculpting in Friendships and Families
However, the twist is that the effect is not just common in romantic fairytales, but it goes much further than lovers and soulmates. It appears in friendships, mentorships and even in parent-child relations. As an illustration, a parent who compliments the children by praising their storytelling skills goes a long way as well. It assists in cementing identity, character, along with interests of the child. The Michelangelo Effect puts emphasis on the notion that the process of achieving his best version of himself is not a one-time activity in a modern world where individualism and self-actualisation are romanticised. It is co-created. It is modelled by association.
The Mechanics of Sculpting: Perceptual and Behavioral Affirmation
But what actually is the psychological effect of this two-sided sword? Instead of following the classical individualistic self-actualisation framework as disseminated by Maslow (1943) in his hierarchy, the Michelangelo Effect constitutes a threefold set of three distinct processes- perceptual affirmation and behavioural affirmation that constitute the art of Humanangelo-ing.
Perceptual affirmation happens when an individual perceives his or her partner as he/she sees him/her to be. As an illustration, where an individual views a mentee as someone capable and confident even in a moment when the latter does not feel that way, a cognitive context of the mentee to play the role of a confident and capable individual is created.
In contrast, Behaviour affirmation entails tangible behaviours which assist the individual progress towards his or her ideal self, providing encouragement, resources, or developmental feedback based on his or her aspiration. Behavioural affirmation is not praise; it is a reaction to the self-conceptualised ideals of the other, but not dictated ideals.
Working together in harmony, perception can be positively reinforced by behaviour and vice versa, which results in what Kumashiro et al. (2009) refer to as a sculpting synergy, a feedback loop in which belief drives action and action drives belief. The person no longer merely views his or her ideal image in the eyes of others; he or she starts living it.
Mentorship Masterpieces: Michelangelo in the Boardroom
The most interesting practical application of this theory can be found in the article by Harvard Business Review titled The Best Mentors Think Like Michelangelo (Gallo, 2017), where the Michelangelo Effect is transferred to the context of mentor-mentee relationships and leadership. Gallo states that, just as the Renaissance sculptor, a good mentor would see the masterpiece in the marble and identify the potential in the mentee before the mentee would be able to see it.
This is also a direct reflection of the perceptual affirmation, where the vision of the mentee that the mentor holds about him serves as a guide to growth, which is psychologically blueprinted. As a result of constant direction, support and possibility – the building blocks of the behavioural affirmation mentors proactively assist clients in chiselling out self-doubt and outer constraints. Subsequently,
In another example of legendary CEO Steve Jobs mentoring Jony Ive at Apple, this process takes place: Jobs saw the potential of a creative person and offered him both the confirmation and the freedom to actualise his ideal. This produced the outcome of co-creation of world-changing designs – the Michelangelo Effect in corporatised form (Gallo, Harvard Business Review, 2017).
Corporate Case Studies: Deloitte and Sun Microsystems
The Michelangelo effect can be applied to the consulting and HR contexts as well, where its principles can be instilled into leadership and team building.
Johnson and Smith (2018) refer to a metaphor to understand that the best mentors approach their art just like Michelangelo. In the programs of leadership and development of the global leadership and development programs- Mentoring and Future Leaders program of Deloitte and the courses of leadership at Deloitte University, the top executives are taught to recognise promising qualities in the less-experienced employees (perceptual affirmation), even before they demonstrate such qualities fully.
At the same time, Deloitte offers specific support, namely exposure to stretch assignments, feedback, coaching, and important interactions with stakeholders (behavioural affirmation) to the extent that these individuals can indeed start to get into achieving those ideal traits.
Another prominent and one of the most documented case studies is the program of Sun Microsystems titled as Sun Mentoring Program, whereby the program matched over 7,000 employees throughout the nation, and their mentees were matched with mentors who had been trained not only to review performance but also to see potential in their mentees by identifying the dormant strengths and ambitions. Mentors were advised to see what the mentee could be but not what he or she was at the moment. Simultaneously, with the help of conscious career guidance, sponsorship, and actual project placement provided to mentees, they were able to deliver on their dream professional selves.
As in personal relationships, affirmations in business relationships create a feedback cycle of belief, stimulating action and action stimulating belief – turning promise into actionable and real excellence.
The Dark Side: When Sculpting Turns to Shattering
But it is not just all rainbows. There is some paradox behind it: How We Sculpt and Shatter at the Same Time.
“In the pursuit of our ideal selves through another person’s vision, do we risk becoming their sculpture instead of our own?”
This paradox is also concealed in the sculptor-muse relationship: as the vision of one of the partners becomes their sole tool, the ideal self they are so useful in bringing out can get twisted into a reflection of their pattern instead of yours. That is, what elevates you to your best version also has a downside of causing one to be languishing in the modality of what someone else feels is a version of the level of what one should be.
One of the case studies was designed by Drigotas, Rusbult, Wieselquist, and Whitton (1999) as one of the longitudinal studies of the Michelangelo Phenomenon (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology). In one of the featured couples, the partner who assumed the role of sculptor initially offered great perceptual confirmation, continuously stating that his or her significant other was ambitious, organised, and motivated. With time, though, this statement became unintentionally turned into an over-direction of behaviour, the sculptor started to make decisions, career choices and even social life to conform to the vision of that ideal self. The partner who was sculpted then claimed that he/she felt less real and more of an actor of the ideal than that ideal.
Therefore, the Michelangelo Effect paradox is the following: a warm “I believe in you” can be transformed into “I believe in you as I observe you”. When that vision becomes control, dependence, or over-idealisation, then the chisel does not merely expose the masterpiece, but may even create erosion of the natural grain of the marble.
A Dialogue of Hands: Growth as Co-Creation
In the end, the Michelangelo Effect reminds us that human growth is not a solitary sculpture carved in isolation, but a dialogue between hands that mould and the marble that yields. To be seen by another is both a gift and a gamble — for within that gaze lies the power to liberate or to limit. The art, perhaps, lies in learning when to hold the chisel and when to lay it down.
Citations:
Drigotas, S. M., Rusbult, C. E., Wieselquist, J., & Whitton, S. (1999). Close partner as sculptor of the ideal self: Behavioural affirmation and the Michelangelo phenomenon. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(2), 293–323. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.77.2.293
Gallo, C. (2017, February 7). The best mentors think like Michelangelo. Harvard Business Review.
Johnson, M., & Smith, R. (2018). Mentorship and future leaders: The Deloitte approach to leadership development. Deloitte Insights. https://www.deloitte.com/global/en/about/story/impact/empowering-the-next-generation-of-leaders-one-mentorship-at-a-time.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Kumashiro, M., Rusbult, C. E., & Finkel, E. J. (2009). The Michelangelo phenomenon: Partner affirmation and self-growth. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 18(6), 305–309. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2009.01657.x
Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0054346
Sun Microsystems. (2003). Sun mentoring program [Case study]. Sun Learning Services. https://dl.acm.org/doi/pdf/10.5555/1698217